Change Through Affirmation

Read: Hebrew 3:13

“Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness”

What would life be like if your spouse gave encouraging words every day? “Like heaven,” one husband said. One woman responded, “I’d think my husband was drunk.”

How tragic that we typically give each other so few words of affirmation. We allow the emotions of hurt, disappointment, and anger to keep us from speaking positive words to each other, or maybe we simply get stuck in a pattern of negative comments. As a result, distance and dissatisfaction grow.

All of us long to hear affirming words, and those whose primary love language is affirming words long for them even more. We like to sense that our efforts are appreciated, and that our spouse sees something good in us. When we are affirmed, we aspire to be better. When we are ignored or condemned, we either become discouraged and withdraw, or become angry and hostile. Positive words can change the emotional atmosphere in a marriage. We need to look for something good in our spouse and affirm it.

The Apostle Paul challenge his readers to “encourage each other and build up each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). The author of Hebrews suggested that believers give each other daily encouragement as a safeguard against hardened hearts and sin. Encouragement is important. Our words are like medication to a sick relationship. There is healing, and it often begins with words of affirmation. (excerpt from “The One Year Love Language Minute Devotional” by Gary Chapman)